She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
