My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The power of my boobs compel you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
