friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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