Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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