Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I could make wine with my vomit
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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