Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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