The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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