I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
worst night to have a conscience
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
