Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
