So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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