Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
