Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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