Sponge bath it is.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
