You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
