So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
