We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
