Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
