I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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