Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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