Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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