I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
