Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
