i jhust puked up my retainher.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
