So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
