Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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