Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
