If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
