I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
