Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
