Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
