absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
