I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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