so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
