dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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