Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This is not my ceiling
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
