He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize