woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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