Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
