Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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