i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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