So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
