i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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