i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
only you would photoshop your dick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
