I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
