I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
