I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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