I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
