this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
