it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
