Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
