I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
