Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
