I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
