Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
